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| Coach Cyndee - "The Protagonist" |
6:07am - Las Vegas Athletic Club (Flamingo)
I am a couple minutes late. This always stresses me out when it comes to appointments. I am not happy unless I am on time or early, but last night was rough. To go along with her dog bite, my daughter has apparently picked up a staph infection (found out via the pediatrician later today). Let me tell you; if your wife/husband/child is not happy, you are just not going to be happy. But I digress.
So I get there and of course everyone is on a treadmill. Seeing a free machine in the middle of the group, I dive on and try to pretend like I have been there the entire time. Coach Cyndee gives me a knowing smile. I start off at a slow pace to warm up for the first 10 minutes. While I have done this before, I can tell by the way Cyndee is talking to people that this is the first time for some. I feel for them.
On the other hand, ignorance is bliss. I have done this once before for Cyndee and as a result, have been dreading this for the three days that I have known that it is coming. I chide myself about being a baby and try to clear my mind.
So the drill is 40 minutes. The first 10 minutes is an easy warm up, the next 30 minutes is as fast as you can go, with the heart monitor on for the last 20 minutes. Cyndee asks me for my resting heart rate and then after this test, I will give her my average and max heart rates from my Garmin. Simple enough.
So what pace to run? I have been 9:15ish in the last couple Sprint Triathlons I have competed in (I never claimed to be a speed demon - just committed). Last year when I did this test, I ran a 9:15 pace. Coming up on my first 10 minutes, I decide on 8:20. I can do that. Me and Steve Majors. No problem.
Well there is a problem in the last 10 minutes of the test. My heart is telling me that if I don't knock this crap off, it will push its way through my chest and out of my body. Surely if I don't appreciate it, my heart can find a human being that will. I am about to become an organ donor in the middle of the gym.
I have a mad urge to turn down the treadmill. This is not sane. I have done enough. I will go read the Slow, Fat Triathlete and be content with my limitations. I don't really need to get better. I could limit myself to minimal effort - but of course, that is how I got here in the first place. I grit my teeth and try to focus on my breathing. Seven minutes to go (it feels like it was only 30 minutes ago that I had 10 minutes to go). I go for the personal Electra-shock therapy: if I slow down, Cyndee will just make me do it again next week. She won't let me quit.
Gentle reader, THIS is where the personal trainer is worth her weight in gold. The reality is that right now, with the way I feel, I WOULD quit. I would make up some excuse for myself as to why I could stop and I would. But having her here watching me forces me to continue. I won't disappoint my Coach with quitting. I won't spit on all the weeks of training plans that she has carefully written for me. I will make her proud and I will finish. I will stare at a TV for a long time and not look at the treadmill and I will finish.
I immediately look down - 5 minutes to go. It's hard to breathe. My heart seems to be on the phone dialing 911...
A phenomenon takes over my entire being at this point in the test. Actually the same thing happened the last time I did this test: I begin to curse at Cyndee in my head.
I have been on personal censorship for the last 4 years. If you have a small child in the house, you know what I am talking about: they repeat everything you don't want them to say. As a result, I have carefully screened myself and my behavior, but this is both primal and guttural. I am calling her names and coming up with curse words I didn't even know I had collected in my lifetime. I wax poetic in a way that would make the most talented sailor blush. (I told Cyndee about this the last time it happened and she thought it was funny).
Things are a little unfocused now. I can't tell if she is looking at me or not. I stop swearing in my head. I'm not going to make it. I'm sorry, I really tried to finish..
Time. Shut off the Garmin.
The Results:
Resting BPM = 62
Avg Test BPM (last 20 minutes) = 159
Max Test BPM (last 20 minutes) = 168
From Coach Cyndee:
Zone 1 - 99-127 easy
Zone 2 - 128/136 aerobic/endurance
Zone 3 - 137-143 tempo
Zone 4 - 144-149 sub threshold
Zone 5a - 150-153 threshold
Zone 5b - 154-158
Zone 5c - 159-166 max threshold
Run form looked good. The one thing you can do is bring [your] hips forward a little more and lean a little. You are very upright.
-Cyndee
I swear I would storm castles for that woman.
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